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Couples & Parenting Therapy

Sound Relationship Tools

Every team needs a leader, so naturally in the Family Team the leaders are the Parent Team.  In two-parent families, we believe in the parents communicating and cooperating together to have a healthy vision for their children's lives and effective discipline to maintain appropriate boundaries for our children's actions.  This mission is just as vital to single-parent, blended families, foster parents, etc.

Every parent needs to provide their children with H.E.L.P.

H for Humor -- One of the best ways to defuse tension is with humor.  Everything from a skinned knee to a burnt dinner can be put into perspective with humor.  As Oscar Wilde once said, "Life is too important to take seriously!"

E for Encouragement -- Our children need to be encouraged in the way they should go.  Encourage literally means to put heart in someone, give them courage to try, and sometimes fail, at life's challenges.  Allow your child to try for him or herself, to build on strengths, and to appreciate effort and hard work.

L for Learning -- Kids need to understand that their choices have consequences.  Children learn that their actions lead to natural consequences (e.g., bicycles left in the driveway may get run over) or logical consequences (e.g., bicycles left in the driveway are picked up before running them over but then are restricted from riding for two weeks).  Don't shield them from the consequences of their actions; realize that mistakes are what we learn from.  Therefore, consequences should logically fit the misbehavior and give your child a chance to learn to do better next time.

P for Purpose-- Just like us, kids strive for a sense of purpose and significance in their lives.  Let them know how significant they are to you, but also how they can work hard for a bigger purpose, that there is something bigger than themselves.  Help them understand your faith, your sense of community, your values and see you as a model they wish to follow.

These four basic tenets of parenting will take you far in raising your children.  Next time things are chaotic at home, this will give a whole new meaning to the word when you yell, "HELP!"

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